[GAME RECAP: W 10-1 vs Always Sunny](https://beerl - Beer League Bullies

THE GANG GETS TAKEN BEHIND THE WOODSHED

Beer League Bullies 10, Always Sunny 1 — Thu, Aug 27, 2026 — Rink 2, AFC

Two games into the title defense and the whispers had already started. Lost the opener 2-4. Squeaked out a 5-3. Somewhere in this building there was a guy telling his beer that the summer championship was a fluke, that the Bullies were done, that we peaked in July like a washed-up porn star.

That guy can go ahead and shut the hell up now.

FIRST PERIOD: THE MASSACRE BEGINS

2:22. Przybylski finds Skelly. 1-0.

3:27. Przybylski finds Skelly again. 2-0.

Sixty-five seconds. That is the entire time it took Ryan Skelly to bury two of them, which is roughly sixty seconds longer than most of you last on date night. Ryan Dolan spent the rest of the period checking the back of his own net like he'd lost his keys in there.

14:24. John Fiore, all by his lonesome, no help required. 3-0.

19:02. With fifty-eight seconds left in the frame — the exact moment a beaten team starts thinking about the locker room and the beer waiting in it — Obradovitch takes a dish from Adolfsson and rips it. 4-0. Kick a man while he's down, then kick him again on your way to the bench.

Seventeen shots in twenty minutes. Always Sunny managed four. Four. You could have parked Granger's net in the corner and gone for a smoke.

SECOND PERIOD: SOMEBODY LET ONE IN

4:36. Dimmig, off a Nguyen feed, finally beats Jesse. 4-1.

Enjoy it, boys. Frame it. Put it above the fireplace. It's the only one you're getting.

Because then it started again:

5:53 — Volchok, off a beauty from Sweeney. 5-1.

11:19 — Przybylski decides passing is for cowards, takes the Yerry feed and does it himself. 6-1.

17:07 — Sweeney, off Obradovitch. 7-1.

Here's the part nobody's going to notice in the box score: Always Sunny threw fifteen shots at Jesse Granger in that period. Fifteen. They came out of the room with a plan, they pressed, they actually looked like a hockey team for twenty minutes — and they got exactly one goal for their trouble. Jesse ate the rest and asked for seconds.

THIRD PERIOD: PLEASE STOP

1:56. Charles Nguyen gets two for Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Down 7-1 and running his mouth. Bold strategy, Cotton.

4:42. Sweeney buries the power play off Volchok. 8-1.

Final power play numbers: 1 for 1. One hundred percent. We should retire the unit. Nobody's ever going to touch that. Hang a banner. Meanwhile Always Sunny went 0 for 0, because we spent the entire night as absolute choirboys — zero penalties, zero PIM, zero infractions.

Let that sink in. The one night this group didn't take a single penalty is the night we hung ten. There's a lesson in there somewhere and we're all going to ignore it.

8:46. Kellen Hart off Przybylski and Fiore. 9-1.

12:32. Skelly completes the HAT TRICK, off Volchok and Przybylski. 10-1.

Three shots. Three goals. One hundred percent shooting. Ryan, buy a lottery ticket, then buy the room a round, in that order.

THREE STARS

🥇 RYAN SKELLY (#88) — 3G, hat trick, perfect shooting night. Somebody go find his stick and get it away from him before he hurts someone.

🥈 PAUL PRZYBYLSKI (#26) — 1G, 4A, 5 POINTS. Had his fingerprints on half the goals we scored. Absolute puck-distributing menace.

🥉 JESSE GRANGER — 28 saves on 29 shots, .966. Faced 29 rubber bullets and swatted all but one. The scoreboard says blowout; the goalie says he still had to work.

Also gets a beer: Sweeney (2G-1A-3P) · Volchok (1G-2A-3P) · Fiore (1G-1A-2P) · Obradovitch (1G-1A-2P) · Yerry, Adolfsson, Hart all on the sheet.

Shots: Bullies 40, Always Sunny 29 Power Play: Bullies 1/1 (100%), Always Sunny 0/0 Penalties: Bullies 0:00 · Always Sunny 2:00 Goaltending: Granger .966 — Dolan .750

Ryan Dolan faced forty shots and stopped thirty. That's a .750 save percentage, which is a hell of a batting average and a miserable way to spend a Thursday.

THE TAKEAWAY

Slow start's over. The hangover's gone. The champs remembered who they are, and they remembered it all over some poor bastards from Always Sunny.

Record: 2-1. Ten goals, eleven assists, twenty-one points, zero penalties.

Next guy in our way gets the same treatment.

BULLIES. 🍺🏒