[GAME RECAP: W 9-3 vs @ Mid-Ice Crisis](https://be - Beer League Bullies

BEER LEAGUE BULLIES GAME RECAP — TUESDAY, MARCH 24TH

Beer League Bullies 9 — Mid-Ice Crisis 3

Nine goals. NINE. We hung a crooked number on Mid-Ice Crisis so bad that the scorekeeper stopped counting shots. Literally. Look at the official sheet — shots on goal for the Bullies: 4, 3, 2. That's also 9. The exact same number as our goals. Which means either we went 100% on our shots like peak Gretzky, or — and this is far more likely — the scorekeeper just wrote down the goals and called it a day. Couldn't be bothered. Checked out mentally somewhere in the second period. But don't worry, he still had plenty of energy to play sheriff at the end of the game. More on that later.

The first period was a clinic. Adolfsson (#20) opened it up at 6:11, assisted by Hart (#6) and Schopen (#7) — the same trio connected again at 16:44 for the Swede's second of the night. In between, Carson (#91) — who we desperately missed during the Kraken Beers massacre last week — scored twice to make it 4-0. Welcome back, Tony. We needed you. Hart had three first-period assists alone and finished the night with FOUR helpers and a goal for a five-point game. Kellen Hart woke up and chose stat padding.

Speaking of the other side of the ice — shoutout to Michael Howarth (#14) and Grant Cropper (#11) on Mid-Ice Crisis. Former Bullies, both of them. Traitors? Maybe. But we raised them. We taught them everything they know. Howarth picked up an assist and Cropper had a helper of his own, so clearly some of our coaching stuck. That's our alumni program at work. You're welcome, Mid-Ice Crisis. You'd be even worse without our hand-me-downs.

The second period was more of the same. Carson completed the hat trick at 4:56 off a feed from Combs (#69), then Hart buried one of his own at 6:59 assisted by Combs, and Carson — because three goals apparently wasn't enough — potted his FOURTH at 8:03 off a Sayon (#93) dish. Four goals. Anthony Carson scored four goals in a single game. That's more goals than Mid-Ice Crisis had shots in the first period. According to the scorekeeper, anyway. Who knows what actually happened. The man was tracking this game with the focus of someone filling out a Sudoku on an airplane.

Sweeney (#14) added a power play tally early in the third, assisted by Carson and Hunsaker (#8). Then Volchok (#44), finally got on the board at 11:43 with a goal assisted by Adolfsson and Sayon. A bounce-back performance after last week's parking lot effort against the Kraken Beers. Not a high bar, but we cleared it.

Now. Let's talk about 15:02 of the third period.

Down 9-2, Mid-Ice Crisis apparently decided that if they couldn't win the game, they'd win the fight. What followed was a penalty sheet that reads like a police blotter. Bennett (#57) and Wade (#4) from Mid-Ice Crisis each caught fighting majors and game misconducts. Sudweeks (#50) — who had scored a goal AND already had a roughing minor and an unsportsmanlike misconduct earlier in the period — was apparently the opening act for the main event.

And then there's Anthony Carson. Tony. My guy. The man scored FOUR goals and then decided to throw it all away with a penalty summary that needs its own zip code: a match penalty, THREE game misconducts, a major for fighting, AND a third-man-in game misconduct. SEVENTY penalty minutes. In one game. On one player. That's not a penalty box visit, that's a residency. Carson didn't just cross the line — he erased it, redrew it somewhere behind him, and crossed that one too.

Word is Tony nearly went at the ref Brady afterwards. A multi-game suspension is almost certainly coming for Carson. The man collects game misconducts like Jamaica collects mangoes — abundantly, year-round, and with an enthusiasm that concerns everyone around him. We'll miss you, Tony. Four goals and a potential suspension in the same game is genuinely iconic beer league behavior. The duality of man. The yin and yang. The snipe and the sin bin.

Oh, and according to the official scoresheet, Zak Dayton (#37) didn't play tonight. Our EBUG Michael Hernandez (#29) was apparently in net. Except... Zak was definitely in net. Very much there. Stopping pucks. Doing goalie things. Getting run over. The sheet says .000 save percentage on 3 shots against, which would mean Zak let in every shot he faced — in a game we won 9-3. Make it make sense. It doesn't. Because he doesn't care about his job and the scoresheet is a work of fiction.

STANDINGS: We move to 35 points, firmly in third place with a 17-8-0-1 record. The Party Crashers lead at 40, the Heels sit at 39, and Kraken Beers are right behind us at 33 in fourth. We've got a two-point cushion over the Kraken and an eight-point lead on the 1776ers in fifth. Playoff positioning is looking solid, but we'll need Carson back sooner rather than later — assuming the league doesn't banish him to the shadow realm first.

The goal differential is +10 now (135 GF, 125 GA). Not exactly elite, but when you score 9 in a game, it helps. We've put up 15 goals in the last two games — 9 tonight and 6 against the Heels before the Kraken debacle. The offense is there when the roster shows up.

Next up: hopefully not a suspension hearing. And hopefully Kyle remembers his helmet.

#BeerLeagueBullies #NineSpot #CarsonFourAndTheDoor #ScorekeeperOnStrike #BradyTheSelectiveRef #MidIceMidMeltdown #70PIMInOneGame